It's the age old question every "nice guy" ends up asking himself at one time or another...
"Why do jerks get the women, and me, the good guy, is stuck being alone?"
Sometimes, it's easy to believe that Jerks have some type of magical
power that allows them to sucker women into liking them and somehow
have them hang around while they treat them like dirt.
This happens SO MUCH, that some guys believe that they actually have to BECOME Jerks to get women attracted to them.
But make no mistake about it - no body likes a jerk. Not even the
women who date them! So if that's the case, why is it obvious that they
get so many girls to go for them?
Well, remember that Jerk's tend to go through lots of women
quickly. Most girls will only put up with Jerk behavior for so long
before they get sick of it. And those who stick around have such low
self esteem as it is, that they've formed some type of strange
attachment to the emotional abuse Jerks doll out.
That said, there are a number of things Jerks do to attract women
that make them effective seducers and pick up artists. And these are
things that "nice guys" can do, and get the same results.
Here are the top 5 things Jerks do to get women, and how you can do them too - WITHOUT having to become a prick...
1. Jerk's are self-centered
One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really
doesn't care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely
on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings.
Because of this, when he sees something he wants, he goes after it!
When your average "nice guy" sees a hot girl, he might be
intimidated. He wants her to like him. He wants approval from her. In
short - he cares about what she thinks!
But in addition to that, most guys care about what other's think
too! They worry about a girl rejecting them in front of other people,
and what those people will think when they see it happen.
Jerks do not have this problem. They could care less about what
other people are thinking. The Jerk is only focused on getting what he
wants.
When you allow yourself to focus on your goals, and set aside fears
of judgment from others, this gives you a great deal of focus, and as
we all know, focus is KEY to achieving what we desire.
2. Jerks aren't afraid to approach women
The most important step in meeting a woman is actually walking up to her, and then TALKING to her.
Most guys won't do this. They are shy, or intimidated by the whole
process. Instead, they look creepy by hanging back and staring at her.
A jerk, on the other hand, just doesn't care if she likes him or not. So no worries, they just do it, without hesitation.
They're thinking about how hot it's going to be to make out with
her. They're thinking about how much fun it will be to get her in bed.
The LAST thing on their mind is "fear of rejection."
To a Jerk, if a girl rejects him, there's something wrong with HER,
not him. Nice guys will say "Oh, I'm too ugly, she doesn't like me."
Jerks will say "That bitch is a total lesbian."
Just the act of being able to approach a girl and start talking to
her puts the Jerk at an advantage, because he's interacting with the
girl, and the "nice guy" isn't. To the girl, the nice guy doesn't
exist!
That's why women typically have such low opinions of men, because
it's always the Jerks who are approaching the women while the shy guys
sit off in the corner!
Jerks realize it's not the woman's job to approach the guy. If you want something, you have to go after it.
So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women,
they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and
really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!
3. Jerk's don't censor themselves
Part of the reason Jerk's come off as fun, interesting, or exciting
is because they aren't worried about offending anybody. They will talk
about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach "sensitive" topics
of conversation without a blink of an eye.
Too many "nice guys" hold back when they talk to a girl they like.
They NEVER bring up sex. They don't even joke about it. Heck, they
don't even display any sign they even LIKE the girl.
Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys.
The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl!
He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he's just
doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath
of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as "confidence."
But the more they are around the Jerk, the more they realize it
isn't confidence at all - its just narcissism, and a complete lack of
caring about others.
Nice guys can learn a lot from these jerks, though. By putting
aside the people pleaser attitude, loosening up, and creating some
attraction, they'll get much farther. After that, they can reveal their
caring side to her.
4. Jerks are honest about what they want.
Jerks approach women without trying to downplay their desires. He flirts with her and tries to convince her to go home with him.
The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he's made
it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him.
If not, the Jerk moves on and finds another girl. If so, then the Jerk takes her by the hand and drags her off.
This type of honesty is actually appreciated by women. In contrast,
you have the nice guys who try and fly under the radar by being an
asexual "friend." He hangs out, listens to the girl's problems, tries
to help her when she needs it, and then all of a sudden, he springs the
fact on her that he's deeply in love!
And the girl FREAKS OUT.
The reason for this is that the "nice guy," in trying to not get
rejected quickly by misrepresenting his intentions, has basically built
a relationship with the girl based on LIES.
And because of that, the girl has already pegged him as a "friend."
So when the guy wants to be "more than friends," the girl feels
betrayed, because she's become accustomed to thinking of him in a
certain way, and now he's demanding she look at him differently.
(Not surprisingly, shortly after this happens, most girls even stop being "friends" with the guy!)
Nice guys should make their intentions clear from the start. Flirt
with a girl. Let her know you like her and want to date her! If she
rejects you, move on until you find a girl who likes what you have to
offer.
That's what the Jerks do, and it works out great for them!
5. Jerk's safeguard their self esteem.
Nice guys often get rejected by a girl, and the end result is
plummeting self esteem, a depression spiral, and they end up
withdrawing for the night.
Jerk's don't suffer from this problem. They safeguard their self-esteem viciously, and don't allow rejection to get them down.
This is why Jerks are Jerks! Because they will completely IGNORE
rejection, and even go so far as to put down and ridicule other people
to make themselves feel more important than they are.
This constant guarding of their self esteem allows them to keep
pursuing their goals by not allowing them to fall into a funk of
depression.
And no matter how you cut it - a guy with high self esteem is always way more attractive to women than a depressed loser.
For the average nice guy, it's important not to take rejection
personally. If a girl isn't into you, it doesn't mean you're not
attractive, or cool, or interesting - it just means that girl isn't
right for you!
So you keep looking for one that is, and you don't stop until you find her.
Rejection can be a hard thing for anyone to deal with. But remember
to keep a positive outlook. Instead of seeing it as "losing a girl,"
think of it like "I just eliminated a girl who'd have wasted my time if
I pursued her."
You don't need to ridicule or bad mouth others to feel good about
yourself like Jerks do, but you should protect your self esteem as
viciously as possible, because that will keep you going.
Understand - picking up women is a numbers game. The more women you
meet, the more likely it is you'll get one! Jerk's succeed due to their
tenacity and ability to play the numbers. Nice guys go for one or two
women a night while Jerks hit up 20-30.
And it's these five traits that allow them to do that!
You don't need to be a jerk, or even fully act like a jerk, to get
women. You just need to dedicate yourself to going after what you want.
by: Joseph Matthews